My Story Between Your Fingers
by Sticky-Sweet.Lips
Summary: Au. It was how it should be. He engaged and I in love with him. This is how my life went, how my story - the story of my life - slipped between his fingers. SasuSaku. Fist fanfic. Please read/review


Mystory betweenyour fingers

I met him when I was five years old. He was six...

On a beautiful Sunday morning I was sitting under de shadow of a weeping willow – it was my favorite spot in all Konoha. Enjoying the breeze, worrying about my lost puppy, wondering when I would see him again. It's been seven days since he ran away, I searched for him, put signs with his picture and where I would be waiting if someone found him. That's when I saw him for the first time, a boy slightly taller than me, fair skinned, black hair and a beautiful pair of matching eyes. But then all my attention was sent to the small creature that rested peacefully in his arms. My puppy.

Since that day he became one of my best friends.

Well now I'm older, twenty two years old to be exact. But our friendship is strong, the one thing I've never been capable of telling him is that I am completely, insanely, irrevocably and madly in love with him. Yeah, I know typical cliché, the girl who falls in love with his best friends, but I couldn't help myself.

The exact moment I fell for him I never could tell but I do now realize it was at five. He has me ah _"Hn",_ that was the first word he told me when he returned my puppy. And with a simple grunt he already owned my heart, and I knew it would always be for him.

I've always know that we'll never be together, his family—apart from being one of the most important family in Konoha— follows traditions very seriously and— just my luck— arranged marriage was one of them. So it was no surprise— not a big one al least— when one day he tells us _'I'm engaged'_. And with me being her friend it was just natural that we met. So I met her, his fiancée, Karin.

She was taller than me, almost Sasuke's height, with a stunning body with curves in all the right places, beautiful face with a pair of red eyes that held pride every time she looked at him, and matching red hair. She was an exotic creature, I could never say that se was ugly or treat her badly, because the only time I met I realized that she cared for him and it wasn't her fault that their parents decided who they're going to marry someday.

I remembered the moment Sasuke told is, me and Naruto of course— after all wee are his best friends— he told us that she was the daughter of a very powerful business man from Oto; that his dad decided that him marrying her would benefit greatly the Uchiha corporation just like Itachi's —Sasuke's older brother— wedding did. When all that information sink in all my world crashed beneath my feet, obviously nobody knew any of this— of my love for him that is— the only person I've had the guts to confess everything to was Hinata, Naruto's wife and my best girl friend.

I knew that I was throwing my love away, by giving him everything— in subtle ways of course— because he was engaged, he was just a friend one of my best friends... and the most important reason: because he _didn't_ love me back.

So following my mind I'd try to forget him, to move on. I dated other men, slept with other men— only two other men, I'm not a slut either— but he never left, he still holds my heart, I still love him.

The man I thought would help me forget him— even I projected myself with him— was Kiba. I met him at the vet.

I was taking Sano to the vet, he is the puppy— well not puppy but fully grown dog now—that Sasuke returned to me. He was there with his dog, Akamaru. We started to talk and eventually he asked me out. He took me to dinner and then for a walk, it was nice; later I found out we have a lot in common, we both shared love for animals, dogs, we were both med students, although he was a vet student and I was studying pediatric and obstetrics.

We dated for nearly two years, I gave him my first time, even when I always thought it would be Sasuke. I realized he didn't saw me that way and I let myself love other people, not as much as I love Sasuke clearly but I honestly gave as much love as I could. When I started dating Kiba I never would have thought he would be the one who could almost make me forget the love of my life.

The fist time I slept with it was magical, I really enjoyed it because I do love him; but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong that it wasn't entirely right if he wasn't a raven haired man on top of me. But for the sake of Kiba's and my relationship — and my mental help— I put all those things out of my head and concentrate on the fact that he was the person I was being intimate with— that I freely slept with him, that I choose to be with him.

As time passed by I found myself really caring for Kiba and bit by bit started to loving him, I did fell in love with him —of course not as much as I love Sasuke, but I did love him very much. He cared for me, did special little things for me like taking me to dinner or for a walk, cooking me diner or breakfast, taking me to dance, to see a movie. Those were the things that made me love him.

So by the time I was twenty two and after spending almost two years with Kiba we decided to part ways, we both realize that the mount to affection between us wasn't enough to take the next step and form a family together. Our break up wasn't sorrowful but rather friendly— dare I say— and I made sure that he Knew that he always would have a special and irreplaceable place in my heart.

While I was dating Kiba Sasuke engagement progressed— preparations and such things. Contrary to what would make sense to any normal woman I didn't hate Karin— even if she can be really obnoxious sometimes— it's not her fault that Sasuke's father choose her to marry his son.

Even when I was pretty sure That Sasuke didn't held any romantic feelings towards me I noticed that he never really liked any of my boyfriends, specially Kiba. He was always hostile with him, rude so many times that would always surprise me because _'a Uchiha never losses his cool'_— as Naruto told me once—they never were impolite to anybody who wasn't a enemy or a suppose a threat — of course Sasuke never followed protocol or manners but he wasn't rude to people without a reason he either ignored them or just replayed with a 'Hn'— the only exception to that was Naruto who Sasuke always called him names like the ever present 'Dobe' or 'Dumbass', but of course Naruto would always answer him right back with equal remarks like 'Teme'.

As my relationship with Kiba progressed he became even ruder to him. Kiba said he was jealous, but that was just so ludicrous, that Sasuke were jealous of Kiba it seemed surreal so I always answered him with a happy laugh.

But things with Sasuke got only worse when he Found out that I've slept with Kiba— that was our biggest fight of all times. After I slept with Kiba naturally I told to Hinata and to Ino, like any other female conversation with her girls, what I did not expected was Ino's loudmouth to spill it to Naruto— of all the people— thus heading to Sasuke finding out.

Sasuke was at my place one morning, we were going to buy his mother a birthday present— I've always accompany him, since we were ten. I was getting ready while he was in the kitchen eating a few tomatoes before we head out, that was when the doorbell rang, so I went to open it only to see a blur of orange pass straight to my living room, robotically I closed the door and what I see a fuming Naruto pacing in front of my couch.

"I know it happened!" He told me.

Confused by what he meant with that rare statement I asked "What Happened?"

A red faced Naruto Answer me "You! Having sex with Kiba!" he yelled I was sure all my neighbors heard him.

And then I heard a crash from the kitchen—a glass breaking and remembered—Sasuke was in my apartment too.

"Who told you?" I forced myself to ask.

"Ino did" he said looking guilty. For what? I'll never know.

So shocked I was that I really didn't know what to say to Naruto. Should I be mad at him, scream at him, punch him or just cry of embarrassment. Honestly I didn't know what was better. Naruto must've feel my discomfort because he was trying to approach me but with the tension building in the air and then Sasuke's reaction he made his escape, but later hi apologized and of course I couldn't stay mad at him so naturally I forgave him.

"How could you give your first time to that Mutt?" He asked— although it sounded more like a demand than a question— anger emanate from his body, his eyes held such fury that for a brief moment I was sure they turned red.

"That is none of your business Sasuke" I told him it annoyed me that he was so mad, but at the same time I started to believe— only just a bit— that he might be jealous.

"Of course it is my business" He responded "You're my friend and it's my job to make sure you don't do a stupid thing just like you did and end up ruining your life"

That sentence sent away all my will to keep this argument with him, 'He doesn't love me' was the only thought running through my head 'He's just doing his job as a friend'. He probably saw my change in demeanor because his face showed only for a split second a tad of worry but it was quickly vanished. Without any will and only sad in my heart I said the truth "He's my boyfriend and the man that I..." I couldn't finish that sentence in front of him.

"The man you what?" He asked as he pressed himself to me, the fleeting seconds the heat of his body was onto mine send me to heaven and then I realized he was waiting for an answer and that he was mad, he was using his _'I don't give a damn about you voice'_ so I answer him.

"He... is the man that I... love now" I said in barely a whisper. And then the pressure of his body against mine was gone, and he was gone too. I felt so weak so heartbroken and my legs gave out I fell to the floor and stayed there for a couple of minutes staring into space— looking at nothing in particular and thinking nothing at all— until all came crashing onto me and the tears came with the strong pain in my chest— it felt like a hot iron pierced my chest. So I cried from sadness and from real physical pain in my body until I have no more tears.

We didn't spoke for three months.

After that our friendship was kind of awkward I didn't feel comfortable around him—not like before— because a part of my heart started to hope that he maybe jealous, that he wishes he had been my first. But reason won my inner battle and I convince myself that he, just like Naruto did, was worried about me, about who I was giving myself to, he was preoccupied of my wellbeing just like any other regular friend.

The year passed with no mayor events until a year later my relationship with Kiba was over. From that moment my friendship with Sasuke became normal again— like we were before the big fight, I feel comfortable with him, I could hang out with him alone and it feel nice and natural with no tension in the are whatsoever.

After my twenty-two birthday I met Ryu. He was from Suna and was in Konoha for an internship whit Tsunade-sama, my shishou. He was a med student too, a Cardiologist. We... connected, I suppose you could say. We bond, worked together, spend most of our time at the Hospital, ante then one day we were an item.

Ryu was the second man in my life— after Kiba— and from the moment I accepted to become his girlfriend I never imagined that I would end up loving him just like what happen with Kiba. But maybe with Ryu it would end up differently than with Kiba. But just my damn luck, I could never love him as much as I loved Sasuke because even if I knew that Ryu was the Man any woman would dye to have— in the bottom of my heart and mind I already Knew Sasuke was the one, maybe not the right one but the one for me. But as the events of my life turn out I was settling for what I could have, for what was at my reach and I knew would have id I stayed with Ryu. With that Thought in my head, I suddenly found myself saying _**yes**_.

"Sakura" Started Ryu— "I know we've only been together for 10 months, but I seriously love you..."

"Ryu..." Oh. I'm scared to even imagining where this was headed.

"I know you are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with" He finished his statement while I openly gaped at him very unlady-like.

"I-I-I-" I stammered like a fool.

"Haruno Sakura" He got down on one knee— "Would you grant me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Suddenly everything stilled. I couldn't breathe, couldn't hear anything —even my own heartbeat— for a moment. Then I found myself thinking of Sasuke—stupid I know— of when we first me; when I lost my necklace, one he gave me; when I got stood up before a school dance and he took the place of the 'Piece of crap' as he called him; and like that so many other moments and stupidly, my mind playing a sick trick on me — may be it had something to do with me stopping breathing altogether— and it wasn't Ryu in front of me in one Knee but Sasuke and eagerly I answer him "Yes!"

Now here I am about to announce to my friends that I'm getting married August First, next year. After Ryu's proposal I didn't have the heart to take my answer back and my mind told me that maybe it was best this way if I got married and started a family of my own the feelings for Sasuke will go away on their one and having babies and focused on loving Ryu as he deserves I may be in time truly happy.

Ryu is in the kitchen finishing the last details of the dinner. Our guests may arrive in every second now. I'm so nervous because Sasuke is coming too— with her. I honestly don't know when they're getting married; it's been a three year long engagement. For what Naruto tell me Sasuke is the one who's always delaying the date.

Dinner has gone too smooth, with small conversations and Naruto's usual jokes so the environment is relaxed; while we're all eating I saw Ryu stand up and asked for silence because he would like to say a few words.

"I- We" He corrected— "Would like to thank all of you for being with us tonight" Everybody was listening to Ryu, while Sasuke eyed me intently, and Ryu took my hand in his "There's a reason why we asked you to come and have dinner with us"

Silence, that's all that register in my mind— even Naruto is quiet waiting for the information Ryu was giving.

"Sakura and I— we've been together for ten months now— and I love her more than anything. So hoping that she loves me as much as I love her I asked her a question that will change our lives forever... And now I'm very pleased to tell you all that we are getting married"

For what seemed like an eternity nobody said a thing until the '_congrats' _and '_good for you's_' appeared I smiled a lot, but those were fake smiles because I wasn't truly happy. Sure I wanted to get married; I wanted to have babies and most of all I wanted to be happy. My only problem it was that it wasn't with the man I loved with all my heart. I know I'm being selfish and stupid and I'm playing with Ryu's and my own heart. But what else could I do? That's when Sasuke approached me; I was scared maybe he would resent me and my choice.

"Sakura" His voice, every word that came from his mouth stayed in my memory, I'll never forget a word he'd told me— "Are you sure about marrying Ryu?"

Small hesitation. "...Yes".

"You have doubts" It wasn't a question

"They're normal doubts, any bride has them" I tried to lie to him. How could he always read me like an open book? I'll never now

"Why do you insist of being unhappy?" —he accused me— "Stop all of this" He raised his voice

When I was about to ask him what did he mean by that Ryu shows up. "Ah Sasuke congratulating my future wife?"

"Hn" Typical Sasuke. What wasn't so typical was his next statement— "Anyhow... I wish you both the best" And while looking with his piercing black orbs straight to my eyes said "I hope you get along" And then he was gone with Karin trailing behind him. So shocked by his last statement that I was barely there— physically yes, but my mind was else where.

After that we didn't see each other much. The preparations for my wedding grew, and the time passed quickly my twenty-three birthday, more planning, Ryu's twenty-five birthday, and now only two months separate me from my wedding day.

On one of my rare days without wedding planning or studying while I was resting on my couch dozing off I head a Knock on my door. I opened it and there he was... Sasuke— the love of my life— stood at my door tall and handsome. He looked at me expectantly.

"Sakura" His velvety voice reached my ears.

"Sasuke what-" I said unsure of what to ask him - "Come in".

"Hn" I sighed. I can't believe that after all this time I still longed for him, to touch him, to kiss him, to simply hold him.

"What are you doing here?" I didn't want to fight with him again.

"I need to talk to you" He sounded so un-Sasuke like. That's when I looked at him— really looked at him— rigid shoulders, tense jaw, clenched fists. He looked stressed.

"About?" I needed to know, maybe he was here to tell me the date of his wedding, I couldn't see him get married, it will be the worst day of my life.

"About us"

That totally paralyzed me. Us, is the even an us? I was awestruck; he wanted to talk about us. This gave me hope, my stomach does flips and I feel warm in my chest, and to top it all my heart is beating like mad. But all his emotion, all this hope I have to toss them aside because I'm marrying Ryu.

"I'm supposed to marry Karin" He started.

"Yeah... I know" I said, I had a feeling that I would be hearing Sasuke speak more than I heard him in all the years I've known Him.

"I don't love her" He told me" I respect her and I care somewhat about her but I don't love her"

Oh. Kami.

"Okay... so if you don't love her why are you still engaged? —I know it is because of your dad but I've spend an awful lot of time through all the years we've known each other _'Uchihas get what they want'_" — I told him trying to imitate him and failing miserably— "and even yet you are still engaged"

"I'm in love with another woman"

That completely broke my heart. I feel like crap, but I thanked all the heavens that now I was an expert in hide my pain.

"Who is she?" I find myself asking— "And why are you not doing all you can to be with her?" I tried to sound cheerful and like any supportive friend would do. But I knew I was failing in accomplishing it.

"Because I don't know for sure how she feels towards me"

"I'm... confused" I said— "I understand that you don't love Karin, that you don't want to marry her and that you love somebody else" He looked right through me as I said this— "But what I don't get is what has to do all of this with me? With us? Do you need my advice?"

I'm a nervous wreck— I don't know what to think— I didn't get what he is trying to tell me. Everything seems so surreal to me, after all this time, after all the effort I've made to try and forget him. Here I am, engaged, and the man of my dreams is in front of me claiming to love other woman. The only thought running through my head is _' what are the chances that I was that woman?'_ and then I remembered that he was an Uchiha, and Uchihas need a certain type of woman and I'm sure as hell that I didn't fill that standard.

"Well?"— I was expecting an answer that would make some sense.

"Well" He started trying to explain "The reason why I'm here now, telling you this is because I can't stand this any longer"

Yeah that make perfect sense, everything was clear now. "What?"

"This stupid situation we're both in" He roared— "you marrying Ryu and I marrying Karin"

"Sasuke I... I think you should leave" I said. Even though my heart was hoping that Sasuke would love me this was wrong in so many ways. The time was wrong, if he were to be in love with me we would end up hurting two innocent persons: Ryu and Karin

"Why?" He said harshly.

"Because the place that I am now is my choice, I said yes to Ryu, and I'm marrying him" — I finished in a whisper.

"Sakura look at me" He commands me, and I did because no matter the tone or circumstances I'll always give in— "You don't want to marry him. I can tell, you won't be happy"

"You don't know what you are talking about" I said

"Yes I do!" He said "Why are you running your life this way? When you could be so much happier"

"How? Alone? Ryu gives me stability, a future, he loves me and..."

"And what?" He pressed.

"And I care for him deeply" I said as I stood up and walk a little away from him to my window.

"But you don't love him" He said firmly "Not the way we love each other"

That leaves me paralyzed. I couldn't feel anything at all. Only his words repeating time after time in my head.

"You knew?" I have to ask him. I need to know.

"I suspect it but I wasn't sure until thee day you announced you were getting married, your eyes confirm it to me" He said— "They weren't shining like they do when you're happy"

"But I-I- I thought... y-you? You l-love me?" I stuttered like a fool but I couldn't care less because I was waiting for his answer and listening to my heartbeat race and because all I ever wanted was for him to say those words and now it's happening. I must be dreaming.

"Yes since we were twelve, but I thought you feel only friendship towards me and then I was forced to marry Karin and you met Kiba... I was pissed that you gave him your fist time and not me" I averted my eyes, I couldn't look at him.

"I didn't know... I couldn't know" my voice was shaking and getting higher— "You never said anything no indications, no hints, no innuendos, no nothing. How could I possibly think you might love me?"

"You couldn't, just like I couldn't"

Suddenly my legs felt like jelly and I have to sit down "What now? What are you— what are we— going to do Sasuke?"

"I'm not marrying Karin; I cancel the deal, and told Father that I will be with the woman I love"

And the next thing I know he was in front of me. His face only inches away from mine. His breath tingling my nose. He was getting closer and closer until our lips met. In that instant the whole universe stilled, the stars weren't shining, the wind wasn't blowing, the crickets weren't singing and my heart wasn't beating. His lips moved against mine and I feel like I was floating it was like nothing I've ever felt before. I found myself kissing back, as soon as my soul returned. It feels like no time passed at all when we separate for air.

"What am I going to say to him?" I asked as I put my forehead against his chest.

"The truth, that you love me" Sasuke said, so calm that he gave me a few moments of peace, of not feeling guilty.

"He's going to hate me so much" Tears formed in my eyes. I couldn't help but feel like the lowest woman in the entire world— "He really loves me. He's done so much for me"

He lifted my head to look at him. "Sakura. You need to be happy. And we both know that your happiness is with me" His eyes were hypnotic but truthful "And I'm sorry for Ryu but if he really loves you enough he will let you bee happy"

"And after I cancel my wedding. What are we going to do?" I asked him

"We'll leave" I stared at him awestruck. When he saw my face he smirked and explained "For a vacation, to be together, to be happy and to _**finally**_ be able to love each other"

"Okay" That plan sounds great — I hug him, trying to absorb as much as his warmth as possible— "Will you stay... with me? While I tell Ryu"

"Of course Sakura"

So here I am again away from Konoha, from Japan— in an exotic island, lying in a bed —a comfy bed— with thee man of my life sleeping peacefully by my side. When Ryu came home Sasuke and I told him everything. He was so upset, of course I accepted and heard everything he told me, even the things Sasuke didn't wanted to hear him say. It hurt when Ryu called me a fake and a damn player, that he wished I will never be happy. I understand that he was angry and hurt and I knew he didn't mean those things that he is a good man, a good man with a broken heart.

Then three days later we were flying to one of the many properties of the Uchiha clan. While we were flying Sasuke told me— well more like I forced him to tell me— how his father reacted to the news. Sasuke said he was very mad, that he threatened him saying he would disown him, until his mother —Kami I love her— intervened and say that it was enough of the silly traditions and arranged marriages.

When we arrived to the heliport we made our way to the house, a beautiful house — bigger than my whole block— and then everything was just perfect, it was just like heaven.

Our fist night there was amazing, it was more than I've ever imagined. The feel of our bodies joining as one, our synchronized movements, every touch, every sigh, every gasp, grunt, moan, everything was utterly perfect. He took me— literally— to the edge of the glory.

It's been a month since we arrived to our island — as Sasuke named it—and everything is going great. Sasuke has open up so much to me, talked more— he even laugh with me— we've done so much together, developed our trust, our love, everything. Now I'm sure that I wouldn't have been able to live without him, because in my heart I knew he is the one.

Now we are getting ready to return to thee world I've been so disconnected, I haven't spoken with Hinata in what feels like ages. But every second I'm with Sasuke makes everything worth, makes life even better and my heart go haywire everytime he touches me, heck it flutter every time he looks at me.

"Sakura" his voice brought me back from my thoughts

"...yes?"

"Are you ready?" he said "we're leaving"

"Yeah... I am"

I look as he took our luggage to the car. I'm so thankful for him. I know only happiness awaits ahead for us. As I look from the balcony of our room to the magnificent view of the ocean remembered and ingrained all the beautiful moments we lived in here. I feel a pair of strong arms embrace my waist. Instantly I smile and turn around to hug him.

"I love you" I heard him say

It was so perfect, so natural, being with him so I kiss him with all the love I felt for him, all the passion, all he made me and my body feel. Because he was my everything so I whisper against his lips what would make this moment even perfect:

"I love you too".

Fin.


End file.
